“There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

All right, then, I’ll go to hell.

My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.

Someone once said that every man is trying to live up to his father’s expectations or make up for their father’s mistakes.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.