As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPEWhen they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE