“I was like, boy, I feel so good when I run, if everybody could feel like this, this sense of joy and physical well-being and strength and autonomy you have when you run, how much better the world would be, you know?”

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.

When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Everybody takes at least 20, so even if you see a good selfie, it probably wasn’t the first one. So my tip is to just not take it too seriously and have fun.

Work harder than everybody. You’re not going to get it by whining, and you’re not going to get it by shouting, and you’re not going to get it by quitting. You’re going to get it by being there.

We can’t help everybody. You can’t keep everyone alive.

It is true that when you smoke DMT, for example, at a sufficiently high and prepared dose, you get elves, everybody does. All you need do, is inhale deeply three times, and you know… You want contact? You want elves? You want alien contact? You’ll have that!

If you have borderline personality disorder hang up; you have already pushed everybody’s buttons.

In the future, everybody will be anonymous for 15 minutes.

Everybody knows in the business how I feel about country music. I’m an old traditionalist. Then they just call me an old man and stuck in my old ways, but with all the fans I’ve got out there,

Everybody knows that abstract art can be art, and most people know that they may not like it, even if they understand there’s another purpose to it.