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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Bob Hope

I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

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