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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE

Brother Country Day Die Husband Veterans
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

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