“I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.”

It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

There’s hardly a more bitter pill to take than when a President disappoints the people who most believed in him.

President Ted Cruz is going to send the feds to his house, take him out and put him on a plane.

They are ruled by appeals to authority. Their self-image and sense of emotional well-being trumps any and all objective evidence to the contrary.

So we were ecstatic and we swirled around spontaneously, the campus in Ann Harbor and about 4,000 of us landed on the steps of the president of the University of Michigan’s home.

As President, I will institute a procedure in which all convicted criminals will have this brass ring will be surgically implanted into their foreheads.

I submit that President Obama and all the democrat politicians that voted for Obamacare never even read the proposed law.

You know I’m not going to give you an objective view of them. But they didn’t do that about Donald Trump.

It is very important that the president thematically shows where we’re going in terms of the vision and an agenda.