I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPEI love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE