We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPEIt’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE -
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE -
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE -
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE -
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE -
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE







