I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPEIt’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE