On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPEThe help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
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In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE