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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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Popular Authors

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