It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPEWhenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE -
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE