Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPEI asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
BOB HOPE