“If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.”

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn’t do when he was young.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

On a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

A consumer society is about simplfying and degrading the consumer as well as the product.

As soon as people enter a theater they must become moron consumers who must be fed information.

Nothing is as easy or natural as consumer brands want us to think – no problem is as resolvable. Your hair will fall out, eventually. Yet we do have these brands, and we line our shelves with them. There’s an inherent irony.

I want to be a real artist to consumers. I want to be the real thing for them.

You can keep ‘consumer’ DNA at the center of your product. That will always mean that adoption is easier.

It is flagrantly dishonest for an advertising agent to urge consumers to buy a product which he would not allow his own wife to buy.

What really decides consumers to buy or not to buy is the content of your advertising, not its form.

The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife.