“I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.”

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’

You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.

All mothers are working mothers.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

I don’t love acting; I love chocolate.

In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

It was a magical evening that started with chocolate strawberries, following with ripples of kisses and her sweet smile, wishing this night would last longer lets just stay awhile.

Why should any guy want to be only friends with a girl? It’s like agreeing to be near a chocolate cake and never eat it. It’s like sitting in a racing car but not driving it.

I make sure to stop by in every city they exist to attend to my sweet tooth.

My love language is chocolate.

Bake at any time. Lick the chocolate from the bowl. Lessons from my Nan.

Negativity isn’t the way to go. Smile more, eat some chocolate.