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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

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Humble Keep Know Mirror

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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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Love Man Marry Money Nothing Tennis
I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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Age Come How Feel Me Old Rear See Should
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Ask Country Football Good Hairdresser Helmet Look People Person Say
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Admit Away Boyfriend Drive Forty Live Mile Sex Tremendous
Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Cook Food Lose May never Serve Taste
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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Curve Set Smile Straight
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
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Advice Away Bottle Children Follow Keep Transquilzer Work
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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Beneath Breast Knee Law Left Mother Out Pain Trick Tuned
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
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Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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Dog Every Go Howl Near Stove Time
I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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Feature Made never That What
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Comedy Revisited Tragedy
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
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Apply Clean Neighbour Roaster Something
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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Come Have May Live Onion Ought Side So Sport

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