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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

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Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three

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Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
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My body’s in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
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