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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.

Related Topics

Age Come How Feel Me Old Rear See Should

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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Always Before Down Drink Fall Friend Health
Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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Come Enemy Geet House Mess Really Strange Win
You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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Afford All Children Move Them Thing Want
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.
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Buy Get Gun Husbvband Into No Reply Say Shop Women
I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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Ask Baby Folk Head Hospital Leave Mother Over Photo Sack Ugliest
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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self-pity is better than none.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Hat On Screw Wrinkle
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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Attack Country Dog Even Hear Ible Lisp Mail One People Person Piddle

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