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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.

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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person

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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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