“The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

At my age flowers scare me.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

How can I die? I’m booked.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

One forges one’s style on the terrible anvil of daily deadlines.

I have this theory that, depending on your attitude, your life doesn’t have to become this ridiculous charade that it seems so many people end up living.

Whatever is almost true is quite false, and among the most dangerous of errors, because being so near truth, it is more likely to lead astray.

belief is necessarily something false that diverts and suffocates effective production.

Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.

False hope really makes you cynical.

But we are all fake people telling each other to be our real selves.

He tells so many lies that he convinces himself after a while that he’s telling the truth. He just doesn’t recognize truth or falsehood.