Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNSIt’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS