I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNSNice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS