What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDOne year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD