Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDMy marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD