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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

All Life Pick Pocket Sex

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Act Actor Each Expose Himself Nide Time
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Another Came Cement Felt Hand Neighborhood Real Some Tough
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Born I Morning Mother Sickness
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Happy Met Twenty Wife Year
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women

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