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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Honest Luck Politician Run Way

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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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Everyone Fruit Laugh Loom Met Morning Underwear
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Honest Luck Politician Run Way
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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Ask Birth Boy Control One Poster Year
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Bath Hate Parent Radio Toast Toy
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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Halloween Kind Life Look Parent Sent
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife

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