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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Back Car Drive Want Wife
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Asleep Blind Day Face Kid Library Man One Pimple Plenty Raed Wake
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Everyone Fruit Hear Met Morning Ridiculous Underwear Yet
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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Interrupt Spoken Wife Year
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Born I Morning Mother Sickness
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Another Came Cement Felt Hand Neighborhood Real Some Tough
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Father Finger Kidnap More Piece Proof Remember Sent Time Want
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage

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