If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KINGI won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
More Alan King Quotes
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING