It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KINGIt’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
More Alan King Quotes
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I was a high school throw-out.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING






