When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KINGWe get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
More Alan King Quotes
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING






