When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
More Alan King Quotes
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING -
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING -
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING