My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KINGThen, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
More Alan King Quotes
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING