My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KINGThen, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
More Alan King Quotes
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING