When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KINGMy mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
More Alan King Quotes
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING