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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?

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Always Art Even Humour Somebody Want Weapon

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I was a high school throw-out.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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