One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KINGIf you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
More Alan King Quotes
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING