I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLAYou have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
ADAM CAROLLA -
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
ADAM CAROLLA -
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLA -
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLA -
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA -
The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
ADAM CAROLLA -
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLA -
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA -
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA