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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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