I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLAI know everything because I know nothing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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