I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLAWhoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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