Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER -
The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
BILL MAHER -
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER -
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER -
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER -
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHER -
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHER -
The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHER -
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER -
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHER -
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER -
The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
BILL MAHER -
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER -
I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER -
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHER