Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHERIf you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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