Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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