I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARXA hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX