Groucho Marx on funny
Groucho Marx98 quotes“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
More from Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Room service? Send up a larger room.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx
Original quotes
From our community writers
Jungle rain mimicking an adagio composed by Bach digging into the skin of eternalised deities.
Hanna BrissonHanna Brisson Find what you would die for and live for it.
K. MckeeK. Mckee Loneliness overflows you with anxiety and overthinking.
Stuart PetersonStuart Peterson My mistakes tell me I am quite human, but my brief flashes of brilliance tell me I am divine, too.
Rachel WolchinRachel Wolchin I used to believe that living is doing, moving, getting. But, there is life in staying still. A bird is a bird even when she isn’t flying.
Obehi Vessel A.Obehi Vessel A. There’s more to life than this. There’s more to life than this. Although it doesn’t seem like it, there’s more to life than this.
Iestyn TudorIestyn Tudor The moon brings me thoughts of you, Wondered if you still need me too.
Sayed AbbasSayed Abbas It takes a lot of healing to feel a spark again.
Angie UththaraAngie Uththara
Meet the writers
More on funny
It’s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.
Hedy LamarrHedy Lamarr The nicest veterans, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who’d really fought.
Kurt VonnegutKurt Vonnegut The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
Bill CosbyBill Cosby The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go.
Ed SheeranEd Sheeran It’s funny how we say a person ‘made’ us when they actually broke us. Sort of like how I say ‘funny’ – but I actually mean sad.
Ranata SuzukiRanata Suzuki The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don’t know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
Joe RoganJoe Rogan I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Common sense needs to be more common.
Phil McGrawPhil McGraw