If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANI’m Irish. We think sideways.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I told you I was sick.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN