“A lot of learning can be a little thing.”

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Its all in the mind, you know.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.

In the human race today, you came last.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

If I’m not creating, I’m not as happy.

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.

Sometimes I say things that I think are obviously sarcastic and people take them quite literally.

All you are or ever shall become is the result of the use to which you put your mind.

Understanding a question is half an answer.

You have to be a speedy reader because there’s so so much to read.

The proper utilization of our intelligence and knowledge is to effect changes from within to develop a good heart.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.