Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANGod made night, But man made darkness.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






