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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

Norm MacDonald

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
NORM MACDONALD

Deep Necessary Tolerance
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD

Best Dreams Goodness Life Right Wake Up Yourself
Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Prejudice Reason Strong Weakness
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD

Confidence Easy Man Temptation Violence
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD

Better Ignorance Knowledge Philosophy
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALD

Commitment Display Excuse Mistake
In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
NORM MACDONALD

Best Kindness Love
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD

Alcohol Bad Drink Hard Time Life
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD

Cook Intelligence Man Myself Thankful Woman
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD

Life Philosophy Principle Solid Wisdom
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD

Fortune Policy Wasted Time
The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
NORM MACDONALD

Different Moral Nation Reading

Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

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