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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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Enough Food Politics

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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I told you I was sick.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Age Confusion Father Myself Name

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