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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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Enough Food Politics

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Come Myself Quiet
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Mindset One Liner Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Children Dog Funny Rich
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Confusion Father Myself Name
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Farm Hands Himself Wife
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Sick Yourself
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Coward Hero Legs Myself
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading

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