All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGANChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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