A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I told you I was sick.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN