Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN