My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN