In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN