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Its all in the mind, you know.

Spike Milligan

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Body Myself Time
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Education Funny Start
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Himself Man
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Far Laughter Live Time
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Man Vehicle
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Come Myself Quiet
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Confusion Father Myself Name
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Enough Food Politics

Its all in the mind, you know.

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Its all in the mind, you know.

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