Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN